MCLS Third Thursday Twitter Chat - "Is Patron Bashing Killing Our Spirit?" with special guest Samantha Minnis

Welcome to our chat on Patron Bashing! We have special guest @smminnis! She will be sharing insights with us. #mclschat

I will be asking questions, but feel free to jump in and ask for clarification or ask additional questions. #mclschat

Before we get started, please say hello and say where you are tweeting from. #mclschat

Megan from MCLS #mclschat

Hello! This is Jan from MCLS #mclschat

Hello! This is Sandra from Laingsburg #MCLSchat

Hi @avcdchavez! Glad you could join us. #mclschat

#mclschat Hi--Northern Michigan!

Hi. This is Kat in Houghton, Michigan. #mclschat

Oops. Houghton Lake. #mclschat

Chrystal from MCLS #mclschat

Q1. What is patron bashing? #mclschat

A1 First let me give credit to my absent partner Matt Smith of Kalamazoo Public Library #mclschat

A1 All of this research came out of a project he started and we worked on it together, but he's unable to join us today #mclschat

A1 Patron bashing is talking negatively about patrons. It can be venting, ruminating, categorizing, gossiping, and storytelling #mclschat

Q2. Why do we do it? #mclschat

A2 1/4 B/c sometimes patrons are annoying! Or don’t follow policy, or are rude. #mclschat

A2.2/4 But then becomes part of a characterization of patrons as rude or weird and part of our professional culture #mclschat

A2 3/4 It is also sometimes rooted in privilege (racial, academic, economic). #mclschat

A2 4/4 We also do it to cope with the emotional labor of our jobs. #mclschat

They are rude to us when they don't get their way. #mclschat

@Brodyskat True, patrons get frustrated when things don't work out the way they had anticipated and they can take it out on staff #mclschat

Q3. How is that bad? #mclschat

A31/3 it’s not a good coping mechanism. Talking/thinking about negative experiences makes our anger and frustration last longer. #mclschat

A3 citation  http://psp.sagepub.com/content/28/6/724.short … #mclschat

A 3 2/3 It can actually cause us to react to minor annoyances disproportionately. #mclschat

A3 3/3 & due to confirmation bias, the more we think of our patrons as weird/bad, the more we notice the weird/bad things they do. #mclschat

A3 citation  http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/psp/88/6/969/ … #mclschat

Sometimes I feel I'm being rude back, and then I feel bad. #mclschat

@Brodyskat #viciouscircle #mclschat

Q4. How does confirmation bias work? #mclschat

A4 1/2It’s a form of cognitive bias where we tend to notice information that confirms to a belief we already have. #mclschat

A4 2/2 When we tell ourselves patrons are bad, we tend to notice the bad interactions we have rather than the positive or neutral. #mclschat

Thanks for joining us @escanabalibrary! #mclschat

@escanabalibrary if you type #mclschat into your search bar, then choose Live, you'll get the whole stream of conversation.

We will archive this @escanabalibrary! #mclschat

Yes! As soon as we see a "problem" patron coming in, our bashing starts and we talk about them before they're even in the building.#mclschat

@Brodyskat Exactly! They're a "problem" before they've even done anything! #mclschat

Q5. So our memories are fooling us? #mclschat

A 5 1/4 In a way! We tend to remember negative events more strongly than we remember positive or neutral events. #mclschat

A 5 citation  http://psycnet.apa.org/index.cfm?fa=search.displayRecord&uid=2001-11965-001 … #mclschat

A 5 2/4 The very fact that negative things happen less often means they take on more significance in our memories. #mclschat

A5 3/3 This was actually a survival instinct of sorts: it’s more important to remember what can harm you rather than what won't. #mclschat

A 5 4/4 Negative emotions/interactions are more influential/memorable than positive ones. #mclschat

A 5 citation  http://psr.sagepub.com/content/5/4/296.short … #mclschat

And we see to egg each other on. Sorry about my lack of #. This is my first Twitter. #mclschat

@Brodyskat Yep! (and no problem, I'm barely keeping my # straight. :) #mclschat

Q6 But isn’t venting healthy? #mclschat

A6 1/2 The articles cited in A3 show that venting isn’t effective for getting over emotional situations. #mclschat

A5 2/2 Participants in those studies who vented/ruminated were angry for longer periods of time than those participants who didn't #mclschat

A6. I'm part of the group when I'm doing it, then immediately feel guilty. Other staff members not so much. #mclschat

@Brodyskat Well, maybe they do and you can't tell. Or, when there are enough ppl doing something, it doesn't feel "as wrong" #mclschat

@smminnis Is there a difference in the results of the study between people who vented and people who ruminated? #mclschat

Good question @MCLSMegan! I don't believe those 2 things were tested against ea other in the articles I read #mclschat

@MCLSMegan @smminnis Both were harmful and can extend the time we feel angry or frustrated. Rumination can extend it for 8hrs #mclschat

@smminnis what should we do after an intense interaction? #mclschat

@MCLSChrystal @smminnis Another great question! Ppl in the studies who did nothing were better off than people who vented. #mclschat

@MCLSChrystal @smminnis Remembering our emotions are temporary even when they are intense is helpful. #mclschat

@MCLSChrystal @smminnis So is redirecting our thoughts to something more cheerful or changing the context of the interaction #mclschat

@MCLSChrystal @smminnis So instead of assuming someone was rude b/c they're a rude person, imagining they're having a bad day... #mclschat

@MCLSChrystal @smminnis ...helps us feel more empathy and calm down from the intensity of the interaction #mclschat

If I have a patron issue, I try not to bash the patron, but the situation. In some cases, it leads to a policy revision. #mclschat

@MissyMcPherson Good point! By paying attention to the situation we can adjust policy if necessary #mclschat

@smminnis If those things aren't helping do have have any relaxation techniques that can be done? #mclschat

@MCLSChrystal This is just off the top of my head, but for me taking deep breaths and practicing mindfulness helps #mclschat

1/2 I have a COM degree & remember learning over & over that it takes anywhere from 3-10 positive interactions/feedback to #mclschat

2/2 ...counteract 1 negative (depending on the study). Seems to fit with this, too. As humans, negative can weigh us down so fast! #mclschat

@smminnis @MCLSChrystal How does this differ from discussing a situation with coworkers to learn how to better handle it? #mclschat

@MCLSMegan @MCLSChrystal B/c discussing w/ a coworker to learn has a specific goal. You're not just venting emotion. #mclschat

@MCLSMegan @MCLSChrystal You would also avoid name calling or letting it become the thing you always talk to with that coworker #mclschat

@smminnis okay, thanks #mclschat

Q& What do we do if someone else is bashing patrons to us? #mclschat

A7 1/4 The important thing is to try to avoid it becoming part of your organizational culture or your routine. #mclschat

A7 2/3 If someone has a bad interaction with a patron and they vent to you about it, tell them you’re sorry that happened to them. #mclschat

A7 3/3 When it’s appropriate, try to help them think about more positive things. #mclschat

A7 3/4 Avoid asking them about it later, or letting it become the only kind of conversation you have with that coworker #mclschat

Q8 But what about the emotional labor of our jobs? #mclschat

A8 1/4 We all know our jobs are very emotionally tiring, even on days when things go really well! #mclschat

A9 citation more about emotional labor in librarianship:  http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0740818812000965 … #mclschat

A8 2/4 My belief is that being pleasant in front of patrons & talking badly about them when not in front of them makes that harder #mclschat

A8 3/4 because venting doesn’t help anger or frustration go away, it prolongs it them #mclschat

A78 4/4 And makes us react more negatively if we return to the service desk and encounter another frustrating situation. #mclschat

Q9 Is this just librarians? #mclschat

A9 1/2No! You can see examples of this all over the internet! Nurses bashing patients, retail workers bashing customers, etc #mclschat

A9 2/2 I believe that it happens because we don’t respect the emotional labor in those positions which leads to frustration. #mclschat

If I noticed bashing, I take over the service desk for awhile to give staff a break. That helps end the bashing. #mclschat

@MissyMcPherson That's a great strategy! Front line staff are esp vulnerable #mclschat

@MissyMcPherson So giving them relief when they need it is a great idea! #mclschat

Q10 But what if a patron really is disruptive? What should we do, not talk about it? #mclschat

A10 1/5 We have policies in libraries because we want to establish places where everyone feels safe & respected, including staff. #mclschat

A10 2/5 Not bashing patrons doesn’t mean we don’t hold patrons accountable. #mclschat

A10 3/5 Being empathetic to our patrons means we can be kind and think well of them even when they’re not at their best. #mclschat

A10 4/5 But here are times we have to ask patrons to leave, or have to report their behavior to other coworkers and supervisors. #mclschat

A10 5/5 Talk about the behavior being negative and instead of person, take action rather than name calling the patron. #mclschat

Q11 How do we foster of culture of respect? #mclschat

A11 Personally I use a concept from Brene Brown’s latest book: practicing empathy by believing people are doing the best they can. #mclschat

A11  http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/23317538-rising-stron … #mclschat

A11 When you believe ppl are doing the best they can, it helps you deal with the situation as it is... #mclschat

A11...instead of how you wish it was. #mclschat

A11 So you can meet your patron's needs where they are today, instead of how you wish they were #mclschat

@escanabalibrary It very well might! When we respond with kindness often that disarms angry patrons and leads to a better outcome #mclschat

@escanabalibrary But if it doesn't, we can manage our own responses after a frustrating interaction by not engaging in venting #mclschat

Q12 What else should we know about patron bashing? #mclschat

A12 Practicing empathy and dealing with intense emotions in new ways is a practice #mclschat

A12 Which means it may be difficult and take energy at first... #mclschat

A12...but then it becomes easier as we do it. #mclschat

A12 Being kind to ourselves and other coworkers as well as to our patrons is key. #mclschat

A12 We've all been the person to do something silly or lose our tempers and need graciousness... #mclschat

A12...which is helpful to remember when we are in a position to offer that graciousness to others. #mclschat

Out of time. Thank you @smminnis! #mclschat

My pleasure! Thanks everyone for your great questions! #mclschat

A great conversation. Thank you @smminnis #mclschat

Thank you @MCLSChrystal ! Great questions! #mclschat

thanks @smimminnis Great advice! #mclschat

@pkapraun You're so welcome! I'm so glad you found it helpful! #mclschat

Next month Small libraries can do BIG things with Chris Brown, Director, Williamsport-Washington Township Public Library #mclschat